Memories
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Last night I tried an experiment along with my friend। I asked him to scroll his phone list and count how many people are there whom he wants to call right now, as in a feeling from inside says "चलो आज उस से बात करते हैं" . Surprisingly we both came up with two names each from some 70-80 odd names.
This is how I called up my cousin. We have not met since past one and a half year and whenever we meet we usually have a lot to talk, nothing pre-decided, just impromptu.
It was great talking to him. He is Delhi and we generally don't contact each other much often, don't know why, both have each other's phone number but still ??.
We talked about each other's lives, pulled each other's legs and commented on how serious each one have grown and could gauge from each one's voice.
- How easy it is to let time seep in through your relationships and make them feel afar
- How easy it is to avoid this but still we don't, how long it takes to call a friend each month, but still we could/do not
- How easy it is to get nostalgic about the past
- How easy it is to make you feel that you both have come a long way and things have changed when none of you intended to do so
Still struggling to understand the nuances of life,
Still struggling to digest that only change is constant.
Posted by :ubuntu at 10:43:00 AM 1 comments
Labels: Life, memories, musings, relationships
Life As I see It
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
एक रोज़ ज़िन्दगी के रूबरु आ बैठे ,
ज़िन्दगी ने पूछा दर्द क्या है, क्यों होता है? कहाँ होता है ये भी तो पता नहीं चलता
तन्हाई क्या है आखिर, इतने लोग तो हैं फ़िर तन्हा कयों हो?
मेरा चेहरा देख कर ज़िन्दगी ने कहा मैं तुम्हारी जुड़वाँ हूँ, मुझसे नाराज़ ना हुआ करो
- Gulzar
Mood: Philosophical
These are the most apt lines I found to describe my current feelings towards life.
Staying at home was pleasant as always is. Met my sister and brother-in-law, relatives etc. One good thing I did at home was to scan all my old family pics, got a scanner on rent and scanned almost all the pics at home, it was an idea of my brother-in-law and I'm thankful to him. It was great to see the old pics again including my parents wedding album and some of their pre-marriage pics.
But since coming from home, i have gone into a contemplating mode, my mind has become a churning machine spatting all kind of junks, i have turned a semi philosopher ... My two best and beautiful friends are moving and i have already started feeling the void they'll leave behind in my life.
Somethings are hard to believe, when u have spent six years with some one and shared a special bond then it is obvious you'll miss them. Only change is constant [i usually forget it, but this is the ultimate truth of life], how easy things will be if man remembers this. I always have had confusion over few things, never understood whats right or wrong.
One thing I have learnt is life is grey and not black and white. Its unfair on YOUR part to expect people to behave same with you over the years and that leads to the thought "never expect in relationships and u will be happy" .. and you will really be happy if you follow this, this is the reason western people are so forward, no expectations, divorce is a common thing there, no issues, no grudges, children leave their parents at an early age and maybe that's why teenage crimes are high there, social fabric of West has a different color and texture than that of East. In India as i see it, society does play an important role "No man is an isle", I read it in my 10th class poem, I understand it now. Whats important to consider is what do we have achieved by expecting from relationships, its the values which matter to me at the end of the day. And I personally believe a relationship cannot grow without expectations. Its a trade off, either be happy and live a hollow life or enrich your relationships and taste the real flavour of life.
I just don't understand why we Indians are losing our values? What are we chasing?
Social fabric in India is very strong and dominating , its like imaginary ether permeating every sphere of your life, and if you feel suffocating, your problem. I remember telling my mom when I was in college that I don't at all care about society, what I care about is only those people I love, to hell with everyone else, I'm still standing by this but now there's 1% doubt in my believe, let me see how much dilute it gets over time.
Here in s/w industry, we organise knowledge transfers for less privileged ones, but who will give me a KT of what my parent's know and I don't. My father knows his relatives up to 4th degree, and I don't know even half of my 2nd degree relatives. He knows how an X person living in Y area of the town is related to W person from Z area, simple two people in their respective generations married each other at some point of time, whats difficult to figure out is hows our generation related to above two generations.
There is one more thing I could never decide on , William Wordsworth said "Good walls make good neighbours", i never could decide how true it is .. some one help me. Its perfectly OK to give people their space but whats the limit, I'm confused. Then there is something called trust, my friend penned her thoughts on , read here.
Ending this post abruptly coz don't know what to write more. Sometimes it happens I just don't feel like doing anything, I sometimes enjoy being alone with mother nature.
Life is beautiful yet complex or is it the other way :-)
Posted by :ubuntu at 3:55:00 AM 8 comments
Labels: Life, musings, ramblings
